Here’s a round-up of your current “it” Lebanese news.

• Patriarch Raï is visiting occupied Palestine/Israel/Whatever on May 25th.
• Some Lebanese are not happy about his upcoming visit.
• Those Lebanese are beginning to hint at possible noxious ramifications of the patriarch’s visit to Israel.
• Those Lebanese have begun to group Lebanese Christians in the cliche and stereotypical war-time view of them being constantly in bed with Israel.
• Despite the uproar, Raï is adamant on visiting Jerusalem and receiving Pope Francis as the head of the Maronite congregation there.
• Raï called upon those who are pissed to get over themselves.

I wondered a while back how is it that the Maronite Patriarch cannot visit his Maronite congregation in what is now Israeli territories. Which precedes which, the fact that the patriarch is always Lebanese due to most Maronites being Lebanese or the fact that the patriarch is a man of religion, regardless of what one has to think about his or any other religion?

Today, it seems that the latter is taking precedence. The Maronite Church is keeping the details of the visit as secret as possible. We know that the Patriarch will not be using his Lebanese passport, obviously. We know he will be using a special Vatican-issued permit. We know he will be going to Jerusalem from Cyprus. We know him going there is to receive Pope Francis in the Maronite archdioceses of which he is responsible.

What we know as well is that it is the obligation of the Maronite Patriarch to visit the many archdiocese over which he precedes at least once every five years. The Maronite people who happen to reside in Israel/Occupied Palestine have never had an official visit from the head of the Church they believe in. Such a visit is long-overdue.

To the rest of Lebanese, fear not. None of us can visit Israel that openly and get away with it. The status quo will stay as such until judgement day I would assume but what Raï’s upcoming visit is doing is basically galvanizing the talk about the extent of our animosity towards Israel and where this animosity becomes detrimental to us as Lebanese in the 21st century.

Bashing the patriarch left and right, calling him an undercover Israeli agent, hinting at Lebanese Christians being Israel-fans just because the patriarch is visiting Israel, hinting at possible civil strife in case he goes to Israel and turning a religious trip into a matter of national crisis is the type of fearful, stone-aged Israel-centric mode of thought that in 2014 is no longer acceptable.

It’s become way too easy to call someone a traitor, an agent, call for his execution and whatnot whenever Israel gets mentioned in a sentence. It’s become a knee-jerk reaction to some. This ideological terrorism is not acceptable anymore, but at least Raï can take it and still come out unscathed. What good will it do if the patriarch stays in Bkerke while the Pontiff visits Jerusalem? What good of a message does that send? Isn’t it high time we have a discussion about do’s and don’t’s without someone getting a death threat in return?

Patriarch Raï’s visit to Israel is not suicidal as some people have called it. It will not lead him to normalize with the state of Israel. It won’t indicate a new aged shift towards forgetting the Palestinian cause, forgetting what Israel has done to this country and what being enemy states entails.

Odds are Raï will not applaud the name of Israeli politicians if they’re announced somewhere during his visit, the way he did when he visited Syria last year. He won’t acknowledge Israel’s politicians or its policies. And still his visit is made into the next coming of the apocalypse among some parts of the Lebanese populace.

Not minding Raï going to Israel does not mean unequivocal support to the state of Israel and what it represents. It does not mean we want peace talks to commence right now. If anything, you can look at Raï’s visit to Jerusalem as him saying that it’s not Israeli land. You can look at his visit as a pioneering movement in the act of resistance against Israel: doing so right from within at such a high profile level. Or you can just call him a traitor and be done with it while you listen to Fairuz’s “Al Quds.” It’s your choice.

Pity the nation, I presume, that gets more hormonal over Raï visiting Israel under his religious title, not citizenship, than over an the Iranian ambassador who considered our country part of his extended nation. It sort of puts the whole hypocritical approach to our sovereignty and national pride in context. But has Lebanon ever been anything but hypocritical? It’s hypocritical when it comes to the way we practice religions or lack thereof. It’s hypocritical to the way we practice politics or lack thereof and it’s hypocritical when it comes to which countries we consider as enemies.

Get off Raï’s back. His visit to Jerusalem will probably do more to the Palestinian cause than months of Starbucks boycotts, calling on Lara Fabian concerts to be canceled and threatening Lebanese who dare to use the I-word in a sentence with high treason. What a country.

A friend jokingly recently said that never since the days of the biggest plate of Tabbouleh have we had a surge in our national pride as when Amal Alamuddin, the international Lebanese British lawyer, got engaged to George Clooney. Well, ladies and gentlemen brace yourselves for another wave of Lebanese pride.

Amal Alamuddin, inspiring many other Lebanese women to set out plans to hitch Hollywood’s next eligible bachelor, is reportedly returning home for the “it” wedding of the year. At least on Lebanese levels.

Sources close to Alamuddin’s family have indicated that Alamuddin and Clooney will tie the knot in Lebanon this coming September. The location for the nuptials is reportedly Alamuddin’s own hometown, Baaklin. Apparently one can’t say Alamuddin isn’t proud of where she originally comes from.

In the very likely setting that this information turns out true, I wouldn’t be going out on a limb to say that Lebanon would get an amount of international attention that is unprecedented. What’s even better is that the attention we’d get won’t the cliche war-torn nation of diversity where Christians and Muslims try to co-exist and of Beirut being the city of the Phoenix, resurrecting from its civil war ashes and whatnot. This wedding could be what we need not to remain a country where we ride camels and live in tents. Be excited, people!

So Lebanon’s ministry of tourism, prepare yourself. Your next set of ads will be about how this little country of ours is where George Clooney tied his knot. Lebanon’s ministry of interior, prepare yourself as well – we can’t allow any signs instability until September at least even if our parliament fails to get its stuff together and elect a president. Such irrelevant details need to take a backseat to the impeding mayhem of the big fat Lebanese wedding about to take center stage.

In case this year’s summer festival lineups including Ellie Goulding, Beirut, Stromae and Massive Attack wasn’t impressive enough, it seems there’s another hotshot act who’s making a detour to this part of the world.

The buzz in some circles currently is of the possibility that Canadian singer Avril Lavigne will be announced as part of the lineup of the Byblos Festival, to be revealed this coming Tuesday.

This rumor is perhaps odd because Lavigne is not on tour in the region as other artists tend to be when they make a Lebanese stop. However, Lana Del Rey still managed to perform in Lebanon last July despite her not touring.

While the aforementioned rumor is not as set in stone as other recent leaks, notably Beirut’s upcoming gig, my sources have indicated that such a possibility is not too far-fetched.

Either way, Tuesday is right around the corner for the official full lineup to be revealed.

Simon Badaoui is a young man and Red Cross volunteer from Batroun who used to go to my school, whose brother was my classmate and who got diagnosed with leukemia four years ago.

Today, Simon Badaoui is in a critical condition that requires a bone marrow transplant in order to save his life. His brother is a match. The only problem is that this family of seven does not have the required hefty resources to secure such an operation at one of the country’s only facilities to do such a treatment: AUBMC.

Simon’s friends are, therefore, gathering to help him by trying to come up with the funds required to save his life. We are told sometimes that we are fools to think we can change outcomes. This is not the case. Every dime counts to let us save this 23 year old’s life. The smallest thing can make all the difference, each within their means.

The following is an online fundraiser link for Simon. Check it out (link). I will update this post with bank account numbers when I receive them. Simon has been bravely fighting leukemia ever since he was 19 years old. You can literally save his life with a few clicks.

A couple of days ago, Simon was a 23 year old boy struggling with his family to cling to his life as leukemia rattled through his body.

A couple of days ago, few people knew who Simon was apart from his family and friends in Batroun. His struggle was his and theirs, but it was his and theirs alone.

A couple of days ago, Simon had no fighting chance against the cancer that threatened to rob him of the future that should be bright for him and the people who hold him dear.

A couple of days ago, Simon’s story of a Red Cross volunteer clinging to dear life was a tragedy.

Because of you, the entire story of Simon’s life has changed.

Today, because of you, Simon has a fighting chance against the disease that threatened to take him away.

Today, because of you, Simon is no longer just known among his family and friends who had prayed and hoped things get better for him one day.

Today, because of you, Simon’s story is no longer a tragedy. It’s a story of triumph, a story moving towards a hopeful happy ending. And it’s all because of you.

So today, you all get to be proud of yourself because you saved a young man’s life with your generosity, with your kindness, with you helping spread the word.

Today, you have given Simon the shot he needed at staying around, volunteering further with the Red Cross and saving other people’s lives.

There are many things that people can be proud of in their lives. Make sure that some day, when you’re telling your children and grand children stories of back in the days, to tell them the story of how you saved a young man’s life.

It’s a beautiful story to tell, believe me.

There was a time when Lebanon’s internet gave us more trouble than its intended purpose to make our lives easier, but would you believe me if I told you that the age of unlimited internet packages in Lebanon might be nearing?

Unlike Al Akhbar, who seem to be rather depressed by the notion that Lebanon’s Telecom services may end up cheaper to the consumer, the sector could actually be in to an overhaul that it hasn’t seen since Gebran Bassil reduced prices back in 2008. And this makes me very, very excited, and I think you should be excited too.

Our government is convening as we speak to discuss current minster Boutros Harb’s proposal of trying to get our telecom sector into areas of competitiveness we’ve only theoretically spoke about before.

Boutros Harb’s tweet from 7:42PM on May 16th, 2014.

DSL:

Our current DSL is horrifying. While our phones enjoy 3G and 4G speeds, the highest speed an end user with ADSL can get is 2Mbps. Decent packages give you a 20GB quota per month for $50. When that package was first announced, I thought 20GB was huge. Nowadays, however, I think it’s pulling back my internet usage with increasing bandwidth demand across the globe as everything moves to cloud and files grow bigger.

A leak from the proposal is the following table published (begrudgingly) by Al Akhbar:

If the above plans get approved, we would finally have an unlimited internet plan for the price of what I’m subscribed to right now. Moreover, quotas would be increased substantially and extra usage made even cheaper.

Would such plans pass? Well, information out of the current governmental meeting indicate that Gebran Bassil is battling Harb fiercely over the proposal at hand. I get it. Any party would want to take credit for such a voters-grabbing proposal.

Mobile Data:

Another facet of the telecom sector that desperately needed revisiting was our mobile data bundles. Neighboring countries have had bundles superior to ours in quantity for less prices for a very long time. Nicolas Sehnaoui enforced a 50% increase in early 2013 but even those new quotas are nowhere near enough with the increasing need for internet necessitated by current lifestyles and with the introduction of 4G to Lebanese customers.

As such, it seems that starting Friday we might get new 3G bundles for our use. The details of those bundles have yet to be announced but a tweet from Boutros Harb’s assistant indicates the following:

I daresay 1.5GB for $19 is quite a deal and very similar to rates in Europe that I’ve experienced firsthand during my visits there.

Phone Rates, SMS and whatnot:

Internet isn’t the only thing getting a massive update soon, if the proposals are to pass. A minute, currently costing $0.36 on prepaid lines, will be dropped to $0.25. A text message costing $0.09 will be reduced by 45%. The best news, however, is in the fact that the monthly fee of postpaid lines would now involve a set of 60 minutes for free talks, making the $20-something per month fee not completely useless.

The need to register phones at the airport or at Alfa/Touch has also been canceled. That alone makes me happy as the entire matter poorly conceived, horribly executed, as well as very limiting to the growth of the mobile phones sector.

Politics?

I wasn’t too keen on Boutros Harb being minister of telecom as he was out of place but he seems to be doing a great job so far so kudos to him. As an end user, however, I couldn’t care less who passes the aforementioned proposals as long as they are passed, and whoever passes them will simply be doing his job. Such a massive overhaul of the Lebanese telecom sector will serve as a stepping stone to further enhance a vital service that could help energize our economy and our footprint across the cyber world.

I can’t wait not to panic over downloading my favorite TV shows outside the 11PM-7AM timeslots of free quotas.

A few hours ago, the name Georges Massad meant nothing to the Lebanese populace. In the coming days, because we have nothing else to do, watch as he becomes the most discussed figure – save for an unlikely president – in the country. Why so? Because his Facebook account was news-material for local services who have nothing better to do than stalk profiles.

Georges Massad married his partner in a same-sex marriage ceremony in the United States. He posted wedding pictures on Facebook. His wedding is now Lebanese news. This isn’t the first time our personal and private Facebook accounts become the source for Lebanon’s news cycle.

A few months ago, an unknowing teenager found himself in deep trouble because of pictures he had posted to his Facebook account four years ago. You probably don’t remember him by name but Ali Itawi’s picture became a matter of national Christian dignity when the president decided to put pressure into throwing the young adult in jail after he posted pictures of him kissing the Virgin Mary. Regardless of whether what Itawi did is acceptable or not, what’s unacceptable either way is the fact that we have news services who have nothing better to do in this country than to stalk all of us and turn our private lives into their own income source.

This is unacceptable. Make sure you look at what you posted on Facebook back in 2007 because it can and it will be used against you in the court of public opinion.

I highly doubt Georges Massad wanted his private affair to become a source of Lebanese discussion. He probably shared his pictures so whichever family members and friends he has who accept him for who he is could see how happy he was that day and how glad he was to share his life with someone he loved.

Guess again. That private matter will now become the “it” news of Lebanon. Can you believe it? Lebanon has had its first gay person get married! Should we be outraged? Should we worry for our children’s future? Should we panic about what this means to our national values? Should we pretend to be civil and open a discussion about the matter?

George Massad’s marriage is being advertised as the first “announced” same-sex marriage of a Lebanese. This is far from the case. Posting  a picture on Facebook does not mean you are announcing your marriage on a national level. It’s anything but. If our news services actually dig deeper, they’ll find a lot of Lebanese who are living abroad who have tied the knot with their partners. Many of us even know people who have done so. Why don’t we make a big deal out of it? Because it’s none of our business.

I’d understand the news fervor if Lebanon had its first same-sex marriage in Lebanon, if ever. But a Lebanese man marrying an American man in the United States reflects on us how? How is it even important enough to be the “it” news of the day? I guess that’s what happens when we latch to the word “Lebanese” wherever it falls and believe it gives a higher sense of importance to whatever comes after it.

Congrats to Georges and his partner. Sorry in advance for the upcoming circus.

I was invited today to the press conference that’s announcing the new tariffs for Lebanon’s upcoming telecom upgrades.

Pre-Conference Tidbits:

At the Ministry of Telecommunications is now various posters to hint at the upgrades which will be announced in a few. So as a first taste, find the following picture:

So what we know so far is the following:
- We will have unlimited internet bundles,
- Postpaid lines won’t require a $15 per month connection fee,
- Speeds are to be doubled.

Conference info:

A few minutes post national anthem, an introductory speech is announcing new 3G and DSL plans as well as reduced phone rates will be introduced, followed of course by a lot of compliments toward Minister Harb, calling him a true man of reform. I will exclude political propaganda herein after.

The info:

- Postpaid customers will get 60 free minutes for the $15 they paid monthly and got no services for.

- For prepaid customers, a minute will become 25 cents, a text will become 5 cents.

- Some of the 3G bundles will have up to 3 times more quota and maintain the same price.

- Getting a fixed line now is free instead of 50,000LL with a monthly subscription of 9,000LL.

- The unlimited internet plan will have a speed of 2Mbps.

- The rates will commence on July 1st, not June 1st as previously announced.

The numbers:

DSL Sector:

- Only 44.5% of people with fixed lines have a DSL subscription, with a clear correlation between the economical status of each Lebanese area.

- The entry DSL plan will be 2Mbps and 40GB for 24,000LL per month.

- The following are the new DSL plans. Unlimited is, as was leaked last week, for 75,000LL.

- An extra 1GB is now 2,000 instead of 6,000 as well.
- Bundle #5 has unlimited speed but a quota of 100GB for 100,000.

- Private ISPs (other than Ogero) will benefit from these as well though in different forms. Their plans will be dependent on what they want to offer but from what I gathered, the new plans were given to give Ogero an edge.

- I personally asked the minister if current unlimited night quotas will be preserved and he said yes.

- I asked if the upgraded speeds will affect areas where current maximum is only 1Mbps and Abdul Menhem Youssef said yes.

- New prices to be implemented as of July 1st. The reason for the delay compared to the initial June 1st date is the fact that our government had to convene yesterday to ratify extra laws regarding the matter, thereby delaying the publication in the official gazette.

Mobile Sector:

- We are at 88% penetration for the mobile sector in Lebanon, which is low compared to neighboring regions such as Bahrain where penetration is at 173%.

- Jordan, whose economy is closer to ours, has a penetrant of 158%. The cause of this is due to the exuberant prices of mobile services here.

- A Lebanese citizen pays 2.5 times the price for a minute on prepaid compared to the region.

- Lebanon has 20% postpaid versus 80% prepaid subscribers.

- Price reductions are including both postpaid and prepaid customers:

- Postpaid customers will get minutes now for the $15 they pay every month instead of not getting anything as mentioned previously.

- A prepaid minute now costs $0.25 instead of $0.36.

- SMS has also been reduced as illustrated previously.

- These will be enforced starting June 1st, not July 1st which goes for DSL.

Mobile Data:

- The 150MB bundle becomes 500MB.
- The 750MB bundle becomes 1.5GB.
- The 1.5GB bundle becomes 5GB.
- All are for the same price.
- Price of extra MB has also been reduced to 6 cents.
- These will be enforced starting June 1st, not July 1st which goes for DSL.

Verdict:

I especially liked how Boutros Harb acknowledged the work of both his predecessors in his speech. It shows that unlike what political propaganda wants you to believe, there’s a continuity in the work that previous ministers have put forth.

I did not like how the new DSL plans seem to give Ogero an upper hand. I thought the point was to give the customer better choices. Such choices do not happen when the best option is clear, without decent competition from other ISPs.

The new mobile data plans are great. The 5GB one is a real bargain and highly comparable to bundles in Europe. Our 3G speeds have also been highly reliable lately. I’d like to see such bundles become part of plans and possibly even have an unlimited bundle as well.

The new 60 free minutes for postpaid lines is also a vital addition as the monthly payment was deterring many, myself included, from making the switch as it didn’t make sense to make that monthly payment without any services offered back.

In my opinion, the new upgrades are great and essential to take Lebanon’s telecom sector the much-needed step forward into current age communications that are available elsewhere. I hope, however, that the next upgrades do not happen in 7 years as was the case this time, for that will set us back many years as technology advances at its current pace.

Let’s make a differential diagnosis of Lebanese traffic. The forthcoming list cannot be comprehensive as Lebanese traffic is incomprehensible, but here it goes anyway:

1. Regular commute to work,
2. Regular commute from work,
3. Rain,
4. Snow,
5. Heat,
6. Explosion,
7. Road blocks,
8. A nearby car accident or a nearby scene to behold,
9. Someone’s 1946 model car breaking down in the middle of the highway,
10. Someone or a dozen more double parking the entirety of a street,
11. Lebanon’s year independence day parade,
12. And just your average regular day mainly.

Today, the need to expand the list of Lebanese traffic causes to add lucky number 13 has befallen upon us:  Syria’s presidential elections. And here I was thinking the following crowds were here to enjoy our new internet bundles.

What’s The Point?

Today, Lebanon’s Syrians drove (and walked) all the way to Yarzeh to participate in their democratic (also known as fictive) elections which will give Bashar el Assad another presidential mandate (with about 90% of the vote). Would we be going on a limb to assume some have even come here from Syria, all expenses paid? A little tourism never hurt anyone. It’s the Middle Eastern way of running elections.

As a consequence of the Syrian onslaught, some Lebanese have been stuck in traffic since morning as the road leading to the Syrian voting polls was turned into a massive car graveyard. How many had to waste their entire day today being stuck in their cars for absolutely no point whatsoever except for the Syrians who are actually secure enough to go to their country’s embassy can prove to the entire world that their Bashar is a man of peace (while still able to scare the bejeezus out of them)?

Is there anything more ironic than a Syrian refugee clutching a picture of Bashar el Assad to his heart, a Syrian flag in his right hand and a Hezbollah flag in his left, chanting “Bel rouh, bel dam, nafdik ya Bachar?” – I mean, why did you leave in the first place?

The Syrian embassy in Lebanon has had 100,000 Syrians pre-register to cast their ballots in today’s early vote. Some of the pre-registration process was carried out by Lebanese parties who are aligned with the Syrian regime. I guess those same parties were more pre-occupied with making sure their Damascus boss’ re-election goes along without a hitch than about trying to make sure the presidential vote over here goes through. Priorities people, that is the point.

Today, those voting have the entire Damascus road under an electoral siege for no point whatsoever. I guess that’s not too far off from what goes on in our elections as well.

Who’s To Blame?

The question being asked by people is the following: who is to blame for yet another wave of massive traffic in an event that has been foretold for a few weeks now?

Many Lebanese are blaming our government and its lack of preparations for the event, especially the ministry of interior. But I have to wonder: is it our government and ministry of interior’s job to run any foreign elections on our land? Doesn’t this fall under the auspices of the embassy at hand whose job is to make sure its citizens can reach its premises and vote? Didn’t the Syrian embassy in Lebanon have data at hand that the turnout would be as stratospheric as it turned out to be? Did the government know of such numbers and still fail to issue regulations to counter them? Besides, even if our government knew of the predicted numbers, could we have done anything to address this with our roads and whatnot?

Lebanon’s Syrian Election

You know what’s sad? The fact that Syria, at war and barely together, managed to do a presidential elections, regardless of it being pointless, and Lebanon – at peace (in theory) – failing to vote for a president over almost 3 months of ballots. What’s even sadder is that Syria, a country at war, will not spend a single day with a presidential void while we’re going on day number 4 without a president now with no resolution in sight. The upcoming/current Syrian president will then proceed to give the magic word for the election of ours.

Don’t make fun of the Syrians going to vote the way they do. We do the same when it’s our time to head to ballots except we’ve probably forgotten how it feels like to actually cast a vote. It’s been a long, long time. Today’s conclusion is the following: at least 2014 has witnessed elections in Lebanon. Only It’s Syrian.

The following are pictures from the current mayhem in Baabda:

Of the many things Lebanese pretend to have is an open mind, notably when it comes to those who are of a different sect. The catchphrase goes: welcome to the country where 18 sects live together peacefully. The reality is anything but. We pretend otherwise anyway.

Lebanese peace, fragile as it is, is always at the breaking point of a sect feeling threatened. Sometimes the mayhem that ensues is tangible, with guns and arms and black shirts. Other times, the mayhem is a scandal at a local school.

You’ve probably heard of SABIS by now. They have a bunch of well-renowned schools across the country and the region. They will also soon open a university in my hometown in Batroun. Education is what they do. Their tuition fees are steep and their students receive the best facilities possible. What SABIS also does is enforce the notion of secularity at its establishments and in doing so, it has gotten itself in some deep trouble.

A Christian Problem:

Recently, SABIS Adma issued new regulations that forbade religious signs from being displayed among students, unless such a sign was an obligation. Parents and students have therefore risen in uproar against the regulations that they believe unfairly targets Christians who wear Crosses around their necks while allowing Muslim girls who adorn the Hijab to continue wearing their religious garment at school. Crosses are meant to be worn under the vest. Hijabs can’t obviously be hidden.

This comes a couple of months after another regulation by SABIS which forbade students with an ash cross on their foreheads from attending classes on Ash Monday, at the beginning of lent.

There’s even a news report about the matter for you to check:

Half-Assed Secularism?

In typical Lebanese Christian fashion, the problem at SABIS got turned into yet another existential crisis that targets their existence in Lebanon. Do Christian parents and students have a point in being angry? Perhaps they do. Do they have a point in feeling like their entire presence is targeted in Lebanon because their children can’t flaunt a $1000 golden Cross? I daresay they don’t. In fact, on that particular point there’s a substantial amount of chill pills which need to be taken.

The regulations at hand, in delineating a clear difference between obligatory religious rules and non-obligatory rules, seem to be aimed squarely at those Christian parents and students. But is the comparison between the Cross and a Hijab a fair one to begin with with one being facultative in its religion and the other being obligatory?

There are other items worn by Muslims that could be forbidden with such regulations such as a necklace with the word Allah or a necklace with Ali’s Sword. But is the point of enforcing secularism at SABIS, whatever that means, ending up with a list of what to wear and what not to wear that is well accustomed to the religion their students were born in?

The problem at hand is that this notion of secularism at SABIS is half-assed at best. It’s like someone who has a foot in the door of modernity with all their other limbs staying outside, clinging to familiarity. You either enforce full secularism at your schools, affecting all students regardless of their religious obligations, which is how it happens in some European countries, or you ignore your students’ religious views by simply not caring whether they wear a Cross or an Allah pendant or a Hijab while not providing them with religion classes, facilities for prayer and whatnot.

SABIS‘ half-measures when it comes to their secularism emanate from their regional context with their schools in the Gulf not facing such a problem due to those countries’ demographics. But is applying regulations emanating from the Khaleej in Lebanon a good idea? Christian anger seems to indicate otherwise.

The problem with applying half-assed measures, with subtle nuances ignored, to a well-rooted Lebanese problem such as sectarianism is that it always brings out sectarian anger, regardless of how well the original intention of the proposal is. It’s easy to say why bother and to just leave things the way they are, but wouldn’t secularism at the school level at least help towards alleviating sectarianism at the national level with subsequent generations taking charge? And would a lacking notion of secularism, which pushes people towards adopting a sectarian speech, lead to the change we hope to have in Lebanon?

It’s ironic that when Lebanon attempts modernity, with neo-regulations at new-styled schools, the overall outcome turns out to be the same-old, same-old regression towards the us versus them mentality: cross versus hijab all over again. It really shows, doesn’t it, how far we are from actually becoming a modern nation where our children don’t go to school to flaunt their religious views, whether knowingly or unknowingly, where a school enforcing such a regulation is met with actual dialogue and where that precise us versus them mentality is buried way too deep for it to pop up at any given moment.

Back in my days, the point of going to school was to get an education, plain and simple, not to learn the art of provocation. It seems the former has become too mainstream these days.

Here’s another concept that it seems to be tough for Lebanon to grasp: sportsmanship.

For the second time in two consecutive games, Lebanon’s top 2 basketball teams were found at each other’s throats as the games they were playing ended. You’d think someone would have learned from the first round but it seems we were too foolishly optimistic. One can not hope for any form of civility in this country, even in sports.

The stories over what happened are numerous. The one that was relayed to me by a relative who was at the game is the following: Towards the end of the 4th quarter, when it was obvious that Sagesse had won and tied the tiers 2-2, the players had apparently an agreement to pass the remaining seconds with the score unchanged. Dewarik Spencer, Sagesse’s player, then decided to score a two-point basket at the last second which angered Lauren Woods, who plays with Riyadi, leading to an altercation between the two men as is obvious in the following video:

Subsequently, the very civil crowds attending the game decided to join in on the fun. Next thing you know, the players had joined in on the fighting while LBC’s Gayath was lost for words commenting on the absolutely beautiful scene in front of him. But does the story of the fight, regardless of sides, even matter?

A player participating in the beating

The fight, however, is not that of a simple two points scored.

Prior to the game at hand, Sagesse’s fans were circulating the following picture online to flex their muscles. Who can beat them if Jesus was on their side?

These are Lebanese Forces Civil War headlines

The chants by Riyadi’s supporters at the previous game are the other side of the coin. It felt like 1997 all over again when the fights were a constellation of sectarian-political causes. Christians versus Muslims. Lebanese Forces persecuted as they were at the time versus Future Movement, then working with the Assad regime.

Our Lebanese time machine still works. We always find ways to put ourselves back in time, because who doesn’t like familiarity?

It’s weird how these two teams, belonging to two political parties that are currently in bed with each other, still manage to hate each other as much as they do. You can’t help but wonder what would have happened had Riyadi been a Shiite-centric party with Hezbollah funding? Count your lucky stars people the party of god has not ventured into basketball yet.

The main problem at hand is not that Lebanese Christians hate its Muslims (and vice versa) or that the Lebanese Forces and the Future Movement cannot eradicate the history both of them share by a few years of alliance.

The problem is that these problems, held at bay with Lebanon’s fragile politics, are finding their way to erupt at something as meaningless in the grand scheme of things as a championship basketball game. What do these people have left for when something major actually happens? Will they bring out their tanks and missiles and work their way through the argument then?

The problem is that our sports are so infiltrated with politics they’ve lost the true meaning of what sports should be: something to bring people together in a friendly competition. If you support Sagesse, one can assume with a high degree of accuracy that you are Christian and prefer the Lebanese Forces politically. If you support Riyadi, one assumes you’re Sunni and a fan of Hariri. Is that how it’s supposed to be? Isn’t sports about supporting the team you believe has the best game not the one which satisfies your sectarian itch?

The even bigger problem is that people are proud of the fights at hand. Sagesse’s supporters call Riyadi’s supporters tatar. The reverse is also true. If you check both teams’ Facebook pages, you will find a slew of hateful speech towards each other that struts the lines of sectarianism and civil war rhetoric quite proudly. Here are a few screenshots, with next to no voices of reason:

It hasn’t even been long since the world basketball federation lifted the ban on Lebanese basketball for the clear infiltration of the sector by our horrid politics. The many months the sector spent in limbo, not knowing whether it would be able to launch again or not, were not enough to teach anyone a lesson.

No one learned, fight after fight, that there’s a tangible need to raise ticket prices. No one learned that there’s a dire need for new regulations that limit politics and political money, effectively removing that extra player each team has on court. It’s not a surprise though that there are no lessons learned because since when do we as Lebanese actually do that?

Lebanon’s parliament has failed yet again. It failed to elect a president for the Republic over the past 3 months. It failed again yesterday. It failed to secure the promised demands of Lebanon’s workers syndicate. And it will keep failing because that’s how our excuse of a legislative body functions.

10 minutes was all it took for this parliament to pass the law that extended its mandate for a year and half last year. This same parliament has failed to manage a two third majority for almost all of its sessions following our presidential election attempt, also read charade, back in early April.

The issue at hand is a debate worth having: rightful demands versus economic responsibilities. It’s also a debate that this country, where flashy headlines always take the cake, does not have the ability to hold. Our parliament, however, is not held back by the economic woes that such demands would hold. They’re held back by the typical political tug-of-war we’ve had for the past five years, if not more, and by them trying to come up with ways to circumvent having their properties taxed and finding ways for us to carry the burden of the workers’ demands.

In this ongoing war between Lebanon’s classes, the only entity lost in limbo is Lebanese students who have no idea what’s happening with them and their official exams, which will determine the course of their future.

Last week, Lebanon’s current minister of education postponed official exams by about a week in order to see what transpires from today’s parliamentary session. Perhaps it was a move to press on our legislators to see if they actually cared about the students. Well, if it were it turns out they don’t.

So what’s happening to those official exams now? The minister is saying that the students will go on and present those exams but the teachers will not correct, which begets the obvious question: what’s the point of holding exams if the papers are to sit in some warehouse, ink on paper without grades?

Our speaker of parliament, Nabih Berri, just announced as well that Lebanon’s current climate is not one where official exams can be held. Ladies and gentlemen, our country is a place, it seems, where holding exams is now a matter of national “climate,” which is the excuse given last year not to hold parliamentary elections. I wonder, when is the climate in this country ever suitable for things that should function seamlessly for them to do so?

Meanwhile, about 100,000 Lebanese students are falling hostage to the ongoing political bickering taking place in the country, their entire future in limbo. For the past two months, these students have been sitting at home studying and preparing for exams they didn’t even know would happen.

Can you imagine the amount of stress that these fifteen and seventeen year olds have to withstand not knowing what’s happening with them, having their exams postponed one minute and then not knowing if they’re taking place the next? We were lucky back then that our only worry was about passing, not about whether all the studying would actually culminate in an exam taking place or not.

Those 100,000 students, spread upon brevet, baccalaureate and technical eduction, will be stuck if those exams don’t happen. Those in brevet won’t pass to secondary classes. Those presenting their bac will not go to universities. What’s worse is that everyone knows this exceedingly well and still those students are used as a bargaining chip to advance rights or lack thereof. What’s even worse is that those 100,000 students have nothing to do with the issue at hand. Shouldn’t their future be off limits to the ongoing bickering?

It doesn’t matter where you stand regarding the demands of Lebanon’s syndicate of worker, but using Lebanon’s students and their future as a bargaining chip, keeping them hostage to the current situation is not something anyone should stand with.

This is a country without a president, without a decent functional working body, without legislation, without parliamentary elections, without security or sovereignty. But no worries everyone, our government is hard at work making sure you can watch the World Cup on Tele Liban. Yes, that’s what truly matters now. Forza Azzurri everyone.

Let’s consider this a break from a state of Lebanese depression.

The new “it” movie that everyone’s talking about, based on John Green’s novel of the same title, is The Fault In Our Stars. Teenage girls have already lined up in theaters to weep their eyes out, jokes ensued. Others have already dismissed the movie as yet another teenage drama they will not bother with.

And here I am to tell you that “The Fault in Our Stars” is something worth giving a shot to. No, it’s not because it’s an epic love story that transcends time and place as movie or novel tag lines tend to say, but because it’s such a simple story in itself, told in a remarkably real way, that it can’t not resonate with you.

Popular culture has always found a way to turn cancer into a simple matter that entails losing one’s hair, vomiting in a bucket because of the chemo and ending up unscathed at the end. The truth of things, however, is anything but.

As someone whose mother battled the disease and survived, I know how it is to see someone get weakened by those treatments, seeing them waste in front of you because of the drugs saving their lives. As a medical professional, I know how it is to deliver cancer diagnosis to people. I know how it is to see children in front of you wearing a Superman cape as they exit their chemo sessions. It’s not Hollywood, it’s real life that happens every day right next to your workplaces and homes, in locations you don’t give a second look at.

“The Fault in Our Stars” gets cancer. It may not employ the most precise of medical jargon all the time, but its portrayal of cancer is one that I wouldn’t feel horrified reading. It tells the story of the disease the way it is. There’s no sensationalization, no glamorization, no poetic justice. It’s not full of errors, cliches and whatnot. It shows cancer the way it is: a disease that ruins lives, leaves people impaired and takes away loved ones. But a disease that doesn’t put life on pause.

The might of “The Fault in Our Stars” is in how it communicates the topic of cancer in the way that it does.  Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters are not the cliche Hollywood fiction power couple going about their days as they await to be cancer free. They are not a saccharine representation of thyroid cancer or osteosarcoma. They are not people who just exist with cancer. The cancer stories of Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters are as real as a story of a relative you’d tell to a friend over coffee. This authenticity when it comes to the disease at hand is unparalleled. I’ve personally never seen it in fiction before. And it’s heart-warming to read.

It’s easy to dismiss “The Fault In Our Stars” as another cliche love story aimed at hormonal teenage girls and their pockets. Sure, marketing the movie and book as an out of the box love story is the surest way to ensure profitability, get girls and their tear ducts functioning in hyper-drive, but the story in itself isn’t just about love. It’s the story of two people who might as well have been patients at the hospital I’m working at and who could have been battling osteosarcoma or thyroid cancer.

The book also deals with the issue of teenage sex in a way that is so casual and yet so intimate at the same time. It tackles sex as it is: a reality. That’s a rare thing to read or watch currently, in a culture of either over-sexualization or lock it away and don’t talk about it. The book finds the middle ground between the two extremes and handles it exceedingly well.

“The Fault in Our Stars” is not a perfect book. Given the mania around it, it’s also beyond easy to dismiss it as a current fad that will fade away when the mania subsides, and perhaps it will. But as it currently stands, regardless of young love, death and getting susceptible people to weep uncontrollably, “The Fault In Our Stars” deals with old themes in a very new way. You may look at it as sick people in love, rendering it meaningless and silly. Or you can look at it as the lives of people who happen to be sick. I chose the latter because those lives are so realistically written they could easily jump off that page.

“The Fault In Our Stars” is not an easy read or an easy movie to watch. It may seem contrary to popular belief to believe so, but I – for one – had dismissed it straight out of the bat a few months ago when I first started hearing about it. I was very glad I gave that book a shot. It’s not a literary masterpiece but its topics are crucial for discussion. It’s the closest you’ll ever get, hopefully, to see such diseases in their most realistic forms. Such things exist. Be part of them, even if in fiction.

I’ll be reviewing the movie later this afternoon.

After weeks of suspense, the country can rejoice today with the news that our long forgotten national television, Tele Liban, will broadcast the FIFA World Cup, set to begin in Brazil in just a few hours.

After months of kissing Qatar’s ass once again, our government officials have succeeded in procuring this wonderful gift upon the Lebanese populace. No, you won’t have to pay any Liras to watch your favorite team attempt to win that cup. How awesome is that? How privileged are we to have a government care for us so much that they had no problem in begging Qatari princes for the rights to broadcast the World Cup for the entirety of this country free of charge?

How privileged are we that our government had no problem in making sure the company that procured the rights for the World Cup in Lebanon gets royally screwed over just because we simply refuse to pay?

Thank you Qatar once again. Thank you Qatar for providing us with jobs. Thank you Qatar for building our bridges, putting asphalt on our roads, investing in our infrastructure, funding whichever parties agree with your politics and making sure we remain in the sports loop. How can one not be thankful for that?

Unpopular opinion over here, but watching the World Cup is not a right. It’s a privilege. It’s sad that our government has worked tirelessly to secure the World Cup when we have so many more important things they should be working for. But we’ve never been a country of priorities. What we have been for a long time, however, is a country built on begging, read شحادة.

We’ll know tomorrow how it feels to watch yet another World Cup we begged to watch. Mabrouk everyone. And mabrouk Tele Liban – you will become the “it” TV of every Lebanese for the next 30 days. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Update: According to new reports, BEIN Sports has not granted Tele Liban the rights for the World Cup. This is becoming a ping-pong game if you ask me.

There’s a multitude of ways that movie adaptations of books can go. They can span from an absolute abomination that gets fans of the novel rallied up against the atrocity they see on screen or it can be a very faithful representation that preserves the subject matter in the best of ways. The Fault of Stars is the latter.

Hazel Grace could be your every day 16 year old girl. Her time is filled with reality TV series, while obsessing and re-reading her favorite novel. Except she walks around with nasal cannula connected to a tank of oxygen that she carries around wherever she goes. Hazel Grace has terminal thyroid cancer with lung metastasis. The cancer is held at bay with a wonder drug in clinical trials – but it’s just that: barely held there, capable of getting her fragile body to collapse at any given moment.

At the request of her mother, Hazel goes to Cancer Support meetings carried out at the litteral heart of Jesus. She hates them. You see, Hazel Grace is not your average fictive cancer patient who relishes in the idea of telling her cancer story over and over again, while identifying with those who share her disease. No, she seeks normality in any way she could find. A Cancer Support meeting, however, is where she stumbles on Augustus Waters, an 18 year old boy with a limp. Augustus had been free of osteosarcoma, a form of bone cancer, for 14 months now. Full of positivity and always upbeat to Hazel’s constant demure, Augustus sets out on changing her entire perspective on life… even about the significance of a cigarette between one’s teeth.

As I said yesterday, it’s easy to dismiss The Fault In Our Stars as a tale for hormonal teenage girls. But this movie is anything but. It’s gut-wrenching, exceedingly tough to watch at times for an average viewer who has never been exposed to the atrocities of cancer that are represented in the most real of ways on screen. Sure, there are some inescapable cliches here and there, but the people I watched the movie with – not hormonal teenage girls, for the record – all found the movie exceedingly tough to watch. It’s not the kind of tough that makes you feel run over by a truck once the credits roll; It’s the kind of tough that – for a moment – gives you a perspective over how lucky you are to be sitting in that cinema chair, not with a nasal cannula as your main way of breathing.

The Fault In Our Stars is bolstered by a pair of great lead performances that elevate it to what it is. Shailene Woodley, on a cinematic roll with “The Spectacular Now” and “Divergent,” is an absolute wonder to watch on screen. Not many young actresses can pull off the role of Hazel Grace the way that she does. The nuances with which she infuses her character are A-rate. The camera lingers just a little longer for a lot of moments on Hazel Grace’s face – those moments help you encompass the scope of the emotion span that Woodley’s character is going through. They also help you make sense of how it is to be those characters, living those lives.

On the other side of the cinematic lead is Ansel Elgort, whose first major role came in the atrocity of a movie called “Carrie” and who also shared screen time as Woodley’s on-screen brother in “Divergent,” is a reveal. While most of us knew Woodley had the cinematic chops to carry on the role with an Academy Award nomination under her belt already for her role in “The Descendants,” I – for one – never thought Elgort would pull off Augustus Waters as well as he did. He spans the entire shades of his character throughout the movie effortlessly, from positivity to fragility, from strength to weakness. He balances Woodley’s act in the best of ways.

The movie wouldn’t be as it is without the decent screenplay that it has. Those who are wary the movie might have ruined the book need not be afraid as John Green had a lot to do with the screenplay at hand. Another entity that could easily be overlooked for The Fault In Our Stars is the stunning soundtrack it bolsters. I personally can’t get enough of some of the songs there – so make sure you give it a listen.

At the end of the day, The Fault In Our Stars is a movie about human fortitude. It’s a rare thing to have such a theme embodied on screen and this movie does a great job at it. Is it for all tastes? Probably not. But it’s also not as easy to dismiss as many would like to. The Fault In Our Stars the kind of movies that stem power from them being truthful, realistic and – ultimately – human. Go watch it. Okay?

8.5/10

While everyone jumped from one pub to the next in Mar Mkhayel yesterday to catch the first game of the FIFA World Cup, there was a woman there standing in disbelief in the midst of her living room, looking over the streets filled with traffic. She was not looking out of a window.

The Facebook group advocating to Save Beirut’s Heritage (link) is trying to propagate the story of a woman who could have died because of the greed of contractors in Beirut who know there’s no law to hunt them, no regulations to constrict them and no one to tell them they did nothing wrong.

Right next to that woman’s house is a 1920s building which as of yesterday does not exist anymore. In the process of demolishing that building, her own apartment’s walls were destroyed in the process. If that woman had been there while those skilled workers were doing their “job” she would have been seriously injured, if not killed. The wall that was demolished is that of her living room. Her apartment is in a building that’s over 100 years old. The contractor has offered the woman to buy her another apartment instead, but what good would that do when it could have almost cost that woman her life?

Let’s not be gullible and assume it’s an innocent mistake. I don’t know the woman’s name. I don’t know who the contractor is. What I do know, however, is that the practice of damaging houses “accidentally” in order to force their tenants to evict has been going on for a long time in Beirut as the city’s manic rush to exemplify its concrete maze status is pushed full gear.

This isn’t about the value of an old house in Mar Mkhayel, although that’s another topic worth discussing in itself especially that the area is facing yet another round of demolition soon with the Fouad Boutros Highway tearing it apart. This is about the length that Beirut’s real estate mafia would go to in order to get that new “it” high-rise they’re craving for so much. This is about how little the lives and well-being of people mean in the grand picture of millions of dollars in investment being put to remodel the city and make it more chaotic, irregular and without a character than it already is.

A few blogs have already spoken about the issue (here and here), but I believe this is something vital to highlight so here I am trying to propagate it further. Beirut’s Municipality should care less about fencing Rawche at this point and care more about the well-being of the people in the city, the people who are dying because of their total disregard to the illegality taking place here. Lebanon’s ministry of interior should care less about people not having an easy path to World Cup watching and care more about making sure such a thing never happens again.

Yesterday, this woman returned to a damaged home. Some other day, many of us – living in old Beiruti apartments in areas bustling with construction – could suddenly face a reality without home.

These are a few pictures from Save Beirut Heritage:

It was Sunday June 15th, a few hours before starting my final year of medicine, as I headed to the graduation dinner of colleagues at my university. I took the unfortunate decision to go to the location by a “service,” or the cheap fare for taxis in Beirut. The place was within walkable distance on any given day but I was borderline suited up and it was June in Beirut.

The taxi picked up a 25 year old guy who wanted to go to “Hotel Dieu” and drove onwards. He dropped me off next to Banque Byblos on Achrafieh’s main road, facing Sofil, and I gave him 20,000.

That was mistake #1.

The moment he saw the bill, he started barraging me about how I hadn’t told him that I had such a huge bill with me. I looked at him and replied: “it’s just 20,000. What would you have done if I had a bigger bill?”

He didn’t like my reply. Perhaps I should have just ignored, but I have a very low threshold as an individual for unnecessary rudeness. A few minutes later as he held up traffic, under a street camera belonging to the bank or the nearby Dutch embassy, he threw all 1000LL bills at me, so I got out of the car and closed the door behind me with an extra flair. I turned my back and crossed the street.

That was mistake #2.

A moment later, I started hearing shouting from behind me. “I will fuck your mother, you cunt!” I turned around and saw that the taxi driver was addressing me. I turned around and walked onwards. “You cunt, you cunt. Your mother is a whore.” I turned around and immediately gave him the finger. His voice kept rising and the insults kept coming. I gave him a second finger and walked onwards.

That was mistake #3.

I walked down the Sofil road, on my way to the location of the graduation dinner, when I heard the shouting get closer. The guy he was supposed to take with him to Hotel Dieu still in the car, the taxi driver drove his car towards me. A moment later, he was out of his car with a bat and before I knew it he slammed me on the side. It was one of those fight or flight moments we get taught about in biology. I decided to fight. So I started beating him as he hit me with the bat he had.

A minute or so later, I break free as the valet parking personnel of nearby “Le Maillon” come close. The taxi driver then runs to his car and drives away as he sees people getting closer. I hadn’t gotten his license plate number. The guy with him was texting throughout; he hadn’t moved a muscle.

My (brief) medical training allowed me to quickly assess my injuries. I felt blood gushing down my neck and lip. I also felt a bruise over my forehead and shoulder. I hadn’t lost consciousness, nor did I feel dizzy or vomit. I assumed my injuries were minimal so I marched on the dinner.

I was disheveled and obviously shocked. I had never thought such a thing would happen to me. My friends were all smiling when they saw me. Their smiles turned into shock when they saw my bloody neck. They went with me to the bathroom to help me clean up.

The graduating physicians assessed my head wound and decided it was superficial and didn’t need stitches. I let my body’s coagulation system run its course and headed back to the dinner. I decided not to ruin the night for the friends who wanted me there, and I tried my best not to.

A couple of hours later, I couldn’t take it anymore so I headed out to my hospital’s ER room. I entered without going through the personnel at the entrance. I saw familiar residents. They knew me. They immediately asked what was wrong so I explained to them that I needed a medical report of what had happened to me to present it to the police. The ER physician asked me to go open a file, the way any other patient would do. I told him I didn’t have money on me – he couldn’t care less. There was no preferential treatment for their own student there. I paid whatever fee they asked, running out of money in the process, and waited in my own triage cubicle.

I quickly told the resident examining me that there was nothing wrong. I just needed my wound cleaned so I can get on my way. The whole thing took about an hour. I was out of the ER and broke my 1AM. My friend was going to take me to the police to file an official complaint.

The best part of the night was yet upon me.

I arrived to the police station a few minutes later. What do you need, the policeman guarding the door asked. I told him the purpose of my visit and he directed me to the 5th floor. To reach said floor, he pointed me towards an elevator for everyone minus “officers.” The elevator wasn’t working.

I reached the 5th floor and explained what had happened to the personnel there. Their initial reaction was not to ask whether I was okay or not, it was to make sure they understood the precise location of where the assault had happened. The reason? “The location falls outside of the jurisdiction of this floor. Please go to the 1st floor so they can assist you.”

Make sure you go down the elevator to the ground floor, they said, it doesn’t stop at the first. I did as they said.

On the first floor, the personnel there brought up fancy Google Earth. They had underestimated my ability to read Beirut from satellite, telling me I wouldn’t understand what I saw. I pointed them to where the assault had happened. Guess what? It wasn’t their jurisdiction either. I was pointed to another floor.

I went up. It wouldn’t end there. “Did the assault happen on the sidewalk or on the asphalt?” They asked. “Does it matter?” I replied. Of course it did. Their jurisdiction only extended to the asphalt of the road going up from Mar Mkhayel towards Achrafieh’s main street. The assault on me had happened on the way down to Mar Mkhayel… on the sidewalk. So what what I supposed to do?

“You look okay,” they said, “and we’re obviously not going to do anything now. So why don’t you come back tomorrow at 9AM?”

I didn’t return.

Perhaps I had different expectations of how my first police encounter and how my first calling upon the law would work.

Perhaps I was too foolish to believe that those policemen wouldn’t waste an entire hour of my time at 1:30AM in the morning sending me between their office’s floors in their vain attempts to throw their work off on each other.

Perhaps I was too stupid to believe I would actually get the law working for me, in an area with about 100 cameras per squared meter, by simply asking for my right without resorting to my non-existent connections to help push my cause forward.

My friends told me I should have gone the second day and wasted my time because no one will give me my right if I don’t fight for it, but I have to ask: is it acceptable that, after getting assaulted with a bat at a supposedly safe street in your capital, you need to also figuratively fight with those whose job is to supposedly fight for you, wasting your energy and effort at something they told you wouldn’t lead to much anyway?

I guess I’m lucky he didn’t have a gun.

As I was walking down the stairs to exit the police station, I saw those anniversary posters for our internal security forces. “Our job is to serve and protect you,” they said. I just laughed at the irony as I headed back to the car that drove me back home.

A friend recently sent two pictures my way of people they know shopping at one of Zara’s shops in Beirut and discovering that they were possibly victims of fraud by a chain that many believed wouldn’t resort to such techniques for profit.

Every year, come sales time, retailers slash prices off many of their items in attempts to lure customers into buying. We all fall for it – what’s better than paying a whole lot less for something that, a few days ago, cost a whole lot more?

Except it seems to be possible that some retailers have reverted to a technique that many of us had only heard of before but haven’t seen: increasing the pre-sales price on an item and then applying the sales discount on that, to maximize profitability on the item to be sold.

I don’t know how long this practice has been going on in their premises nor do I know if other retailers in Lebanon also adopt this fraudulent technique to rip us off of our hard-earned money. What it seems to be, however, is that even shopping in Lebanon isn’t the simple straightforward matter that it should be.

Perhaps it’s a typing mistake, perhaps it’s not. But even international brands may not above bending the law when they set ship over here. Today even our markets are in anarchy. With no control, no safeguards, no monitoring and no regulations, who protects the average Lebanese customer from falling to such practices?

It’s yet another Sunday in Lebanon and another opportunity for the Maronite Patriarch to offer his words of wisdom, in his weekly sermon, to the ears that would listen. It’s also yet another Sunday in a Lebanon of presidential void, security chaos and with more people listening in to the likes of Raï for possible hints at what to expect in the next few weeks when it comes to political development, the patriarch new quite well the stakes of his sermon. Here’s an excerpt, translated by yours truly, of Raï’s sermon today:

“In this occasion, we cannot forget that the Lebanese family is made up of two components: Christian and Muslim, and it has become a model for today’s societies, eastern and western, threatened by two extreme and opposite movements: religious regimes that aim to eliminate those that are different and to enforce their own faith and teachings onto others, and secular atheist systems which exclude God from society, legislating what they please without any regards of the natural laws of God. We are seeing signs of both these movements in Lebanon…. we demand the government and concerned ministries to issue decrees that stop such practices as is stated in article 9 of the constitution: freedom of belief is absolute.”

Color me confused but I was under the impression that it wasn’t non-religious people that took over Iraq recently, killed people just because they prayed differently. I was also under the impression that it wasn’t the acts of those non-religious people that led to many terrorist attacks, a few years ago, whose repercussions we still live today. Spreading across the Middle East today, and now in Lebanon, is a clear attempt to equate lack of religiosity with the terrorists threatening the fabrics of our society.

I have always been under the assumption as well that the root of Lebanese problems is our twisted understanding of religion. We have always been taught to fear that who is different: Muslims, Christians, Jews and now atheists – who are becoming a more vocal part of society, albeit still squashed by the thunderous voices of religious men whose influence spreads much deeper than to be challenged anytime soon. Secularism wasn’t what built our country, it wasn’t what ignited both our civil wars, it wasn’t what perpetuated the status quo from 1990 till 2005 and it’s not what’s bringing about the Lebanon of 2014.

Today, Lebanon is without a president, without a decent legislating body, without a decently functioning government, without security and without a functioning labor force. Who’s the cause for the mayhem and anarchy that Lebanon is living today? I’ll go on a limb and say, not those very horrifying nonbelievers, but our deeply sectarian system that empowers what Raï is championing. “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it” is the saying. But this is deeply, irrevocably broken.

Religious men of Lebanon like to spread fear. It is what puts food on their table at the end of the day. Patriarch Raï is no exception. By lumping ISIS, Al Qaeda or whatever terrorist group fits the bill with non-believers in one basket, he is doing just that: be afraid of those killing you… and be afraid of those that can challenge your well-rooted beliefs that have been enforced in you for such a long time by your families, by your schools, by your communities and by the likes of Mr. Rai.

What’s threatening the fabrics of Lebanese society isn’t lack of belief. It’s the blind attachment to belief and taking those beliefs to a point where they become maimed, mutilated and unrecognizably wrong. What’s threatening the fabrics of Lebanese society today is people, like Raï, still making people fear the premise of a secular system where people are treated based on their merits, not sect, where their worth is contingent upon who they are as people not on which region or religion they were born in, where equality is assured to everyone and isn’t relative to the inner rules of the sect your parents happened to belong to.

What’s threatening the fabrics of Lebanese societies aren’t some of Lebanon’s citizens becoming more liberal, supporting laws that their parents or parish priests wouldn’t approve of, it’s the fact that the absolute majority of Lebanese don’t challenge their parents’ beliefs or what they’ve been taught at school for so many years or what they’re being told by the head of their sect during a Sunday sermon.

Article 9 of the Lebanese constitution asserts freedom of belief, as Raï pointed out. Freedom of belief also extends to the freedom of not believing in any god and in having a country protect your right of not believing. Raï is afraid of the influence the increasing number of Christian nonbelievers has on his power. Perhaps he shouldn’t as it’ll be a long time before his influence budges. But I’ll let him know this: once upon a time, Mr Raï, I was one of those people that belonged to the flock that calls you their shepherd. I’m so glad I’m not part of that Maronite herd anymore that is susceptible to every word you say. I’m one of those you don’t have power over anymore, and it’s been extremely liberating.

With Tripoli’s Mayor hell-bent on turning his city into the Lebanese version of Qandahar, which years of constant fights didn’t do, with his recent request to effectively stop publicizing breakfasts within the city’s municipal bounds, I figured I’d compile a list of my favorite places to have an awesome breakfast in Tripoli.

Ahwak Cafe

This place is an absolute delight. It is the liberal hub of the city. I’d go on and on about that bathroom but you can get lost in the debates on its walls for hours. No wonder this place gets hammered, in one way or another, whenever push comes to shove in Tripoli. That same bathroom has atheists express their lack of belief in God on those walls. Those same atheists converse with believers who keep an open mind on its rustic tables while they enjoy the delicacies offered.

Ahwak makes awesome cakes. I love their Oreo cheesecake (Roadster could take notes of the recipe if they ever venture beyond Jounieh) and their Carrot Cake is still by far the best I’ve ever had. Their coffee is also entirely based on the “Tafesh” brand, which is known to be excellent.

By having breakfast at Ahwak, you’d also be supporting this place against the constant religious and political persecution affecting it, from Islamists who want to ruin Tripoli with an image that it isn’t befit for, and politicians who believe its youth’s open mind is on its way to ruin their city, necessitating such memos in the first place.

Ahwak is located in the hip “Dam W Farez” area of Tripoli, full of newly built cafes and restaurants that have managed to withstand the economic stagnation that befell their city due to the security situation and economic neglect over the past few years.

Hallab

It goes without saying that Hallab is always a must visit place in Tripoli and it’s not because I’m friends with Zaher Hallab. The place has character which is something you won’t find at other Hallab locations now that they’re expanding across Lebanon. Sit in “Le Palais” section and look at the great building facade, observe Tripoli’s “Ebrine Road” (I had to put in my hometown’s name) and its bustling life. There are many options for you. You can go sweet with “knefe” or other delicacies or you can go with Hallab’s “lahm b’aajine.” Either way, the only regret you’ll be having is about your delusion of a diet. They also offer cakes and beverages. And it’s all very affordable. Bye, bye Beiruti expensiveness.

Akra

If you’re in the mood for a traditional Tripoli breakfast, this is the place for you. It takes quite a bit to get to it and a local is advised to guide the way. In order to get there, make your way to the Tel area and ask around. The place is extremely known to the people there and should be known nationally if you ask me. They make so many different varieties of humus, each of which is great. They also offer awesome “fatte.” Order as much as you want. I assure you that you won’t be disappointed. And I can also assure you that you won’t end up paying more than 10,000LL per person. Yes, Akra is that cheap but more importantly Akra is so good that it has turned me into a person who craves hummus for breakfast. You can thank me for the recommendation later.

Coffee Pot:

Near Al Salam Mosque, which was destroyed last August in one of Lebanon’s now 22 explosions, lies a nice breakfast spot called Coffee Pot. They offer a set of omelette with toast, American coffee and pancakes for less than $10. You can also have separate options if you don’t feel like going all out. It’s quiet. They offer indoor seating as well as a terrace overlooking the busy street, though I would assume that wouldn’t be too favorable with this heat. Service is very friendly too.

Fasting Ramadan

It is an insult first and foremost to the Muslims fasting to have a mayor, sheikh or whatever other entity believe that them fasting Ramadan should be met with a whole lot of “kindly forced” consideration from everyone else.

I’ve seen a lot of people lump all of Lebanon’s Muslims into the basket of people who agree with what Tripoli’s mayor did. The truth is that the mayor’s ideological representation is so limited that it only spans very few people whose voice is only being augmented because that voice is what’s “in” right now. It was Muslims who were the first to make fun of the “no breakfast” memos. It was Tripoli’s Muslims who told me about their municipality’s decree, who asked me to try and express their anger at this shameful attempt to repress not only the freedom of others but their very own in the city they call home, but you don’t hear those voices as often as your hear that mayor.

The courtesy that those fasting Ramadan should receive is not something that can be bestowed upon them by a municipal decree, emanating from an Islamist Council. Such a courtesy is a mere manifestation of being considerate and being aware of how difficult it is to remain without food and water in this heat for such long hours and to be aware of how much dedication such an endeavor entails. Illegally and unconstitutionally enforcing a twisted version of “tolerance” defeats the entire purpose of Ramadan. Those sheikhs and mayor should have known better than to tarnish such a month in their city like that.

Ramadan is a beautiful time. I’ve only been massively exposed to it recently when I became friends with Muslims who – gasp – happen to be from Tripoli. Those people were kind, hospitable and so kind-hearted that they’ve shown me – a stranger and an outsider – the ins and outs of their holy month. I attended more iftars than I could remember. I went to s’hours, heard the tarawih, walked the city as it bustled with people leaving prayer. And it was all beautiful.

To that family in Tripoli and almost every single Muslim I know, be it from Tripoli or elsewhere, fasting Ramadan is an act to bring them closer to the God they believe in. It is not something they proclaim to the world. I haven’t heard any of my friends nag that they’re fasting. I haven’t heard them nag that people around them are eating. They know that while fasting that month is a religious duty to them, it remains a duty that is exclusive to them and should not be generalized upon everyone else. They don’t need anyone telling them it’s not their right to force it upon anyone. It’s innate knowledge to them. On the contrary, they find it honorable when they share their iftars with people who hadn’t been fasting and who had breakfast and even lunch.

Tripoli is a city that has been literally screwed for the past several years by downright negligence. We’ve all seen the capacities of our security forces with the recent explosions overdrive taking the country. Those same capacities were never applied to that city as the country left it to be burned alone, an island in a sea we quickly judged as full of Islamists that should perish with it. Tripoli’s mayor and some people who have his mentality are hell-bent on turning their city into the different-phobe version they believe is the best for its Muslims population, but Tripoli’s people – Muslims and not – know better and they’ve stood up to him.

They are the people who won’t let their city get turned into what’s been planned for it, who won’t let their own reputation be tarnished and turned into that of people who hate those who are different, even when it comes to meals, forcing restaurants to cut down their businesses according to someone with authority’s version of what God said, and who know that fasting Ramadan does not mean you are entitled for preferential treatment by any municipality or government. It is a personal act that remains as such. The Quran has told them, after all, “لَكُمْ دِينُكُمْ وَلِيَ دِينِ.”

That mayor’s actions are a mere ploy for increasing popularity at a time when he assumed such a memo would resonate with the people in his city, bringing him accolades and newfound fame. The only accolade and fame he found were those of mockery from the same people he governs. He believed current times necessitate such a decree. He was wrong. There won’t be a time when Lebanon needs wishes upon restaurants to refrain from publicizing or even serving breakfast. Contrary to popular belief, such memos will never find their ways to fruition in Lebanon, be it in Tripoli or elsewhere, not now and not in the future. Why so? Because regardless of how downright despicable religious practices can get in this country, there are people who are aware enough to stand against them, people who managed to turn down that memo in mere hours after it was published. Those people are not Lebanese Christian-born activists who were appalled at a time when their breakfast options could be limited; they were Tripoli people born and bred and mostly Muslim.

Tripoli will not be Qandahar, not now and not in a future that many believe is upon us. Not when it has Muslims like the ones I know, friends and almost-family, who make sure you don’t leave their house on a Ramadan morning without them serving you breakfast.

Ramadan karim to everyone concerned.